Is your relationship faltering?
Is there some problem that you and your partner just can’t seem to work out?
Do you feel like you’re not being heard in your relationship?
Have you had enough? Has your partner repeatedly said they would change but nothing’s happened?
Has there been an affair in your relationship?
Is your partner threatening to leave if you don’t change?
Relationships can be complicated. When we first meet someone on a date, we are our best and brightest selves. Why is it that down the road, as things become more serious, our worst, ugliest selves come out? If we’re becoming more real with someone, sharing all the different sides of ourselves, this is good—the relationship is becoming more intimate. But often the emotions and behaviors that come as each person is showing more of themselves can overrun the chemistry that first brought the two of you together. Couples therapy can help you untangle these dynamics, figure out who’s doing what, and then improve the ways the two of you interact.
Couples therapy will find the source of the difficulties in your relationship. Usually one or both partners needs to learn to be more honest and/or take more responsibility in some way. It’s true that “it takes two to tango,” but at the same time, it is my experience that for any given problem in a relationship, it’s usually caused primarily by just one of the partners. Identifying who is responsible and helping him or her to change how they’re behaving is the way dynamics in relationships can be transformed.
Being in a healthy relationship requires us to trust another person in ways that can be difficult. Over the course of our lives, we erect defenses to protect ourselves from being hurt. As we move into an intimate relationship, we need to let down some of these defenses so we can experience closeness with our partner. This can be scary. When we make ourselves vulnerable, then get hurt, how do we make ourselves vulnerable again? Why would we?
Couples therapists teach partners how to interact without constantly hurting each other, allowing walls to stay down. We all want to be loved and validated by someone we trust implicitly, a best friend who has our back. If your partner feels more like an opponent than a best friend, and there’s more distance between you than there is intimacy, chances are you need help learning to manage conflict and creating a trusting a relationship.
Have you recently discovered your partner has been unfaithful? Are you wondering if you should stay or go? In an intimate relationship, honesty is everything. If your trust has been betrayed, it can be extremely upsetting and confusing. When our trust has been violated, we often start to question everything–you now may not know what to believe. You may be wondering if it’s possible to rebuild the trust that has been broken. I’ve helped many couples decide how to proceed after an affair. Trust can be restored in many cases, depending on several factors. Couples therapy is your best course of action after an affair has ruptured the trust in your relationship.
You may be ready to try couples therapy, but still have questions or concerns…
We don’t need someone to tell us what’s wrong with our relationship. We know what our problems are and can fix them ourselves.
Every relationship has running issues. However, if there has been no forward progress on these issues—or if things are getting worse—a structured setting with an experienced professional can be a game-changer. I’ve helped many couples solve problems they ultimately couldn’t solve on their own.
I’m worried about what it means if my relationship needs couples therapy. Isn’t this the beginning of the end? I don’t want to get divorced.
Most issues in relationship can be improved with some concerted effort. Couples therapy can show you what’s causing the problems in your relationship and how to fix those problems. Though not every relationship can be—or should be—saved, I’ve helped many couples improve their relationship and stay together.
Couples Therapist in Philadelphia, PA
I invite you to call or email me to set up an appointment by calling Eric Levin today at (215) 792-6692